April 18, 2013 at 6:45 am #85328
I was listening to the show and I wanted to just mention something that didn’t sit exactly right with me.
I think it’s hugely important to support all sexual abuse survivors. But it concerns me to hear the gentlemen who was the guest say that intimate partner violence is perpetrated as much women on men as it is men on women. (Maybe he didn’t state that outright, but that’s what I remember.)
Almost every time I see someone compare sexual assault against men (which I know is real and happens) and sexual assault against women, is someone out of the Men’s Rights movement. And the comparison is used to tell women and feminists to shut up.
I don’t know if that was an agenda this person might have. It wasn’t something he said. But it made me feel weird, listening to the show.May 5, 2013 at 10:58 pm #87205
I don’t think the comparison is used to tell women and feminists to shut up. I think its more to air that sexually assaults against men by other men or women do happen and that men should not have to just “deal with it” or “man up about it”. I forget how the show went but I do remember listening to #afterblack when an issue of women raping a man was joked about on the show. I just think that the prevailing opinion between how a male versus a female victim should feel or the reaction to the news about each case differs so much that the particular gentleman you were referring to wanted to lay some statistics down on those sexual assaults against men to let people know what it is.May 6, 2013 at 6:48 am #87215
I support male sexual assault victims, as I said. What I am concerned about with the guest is that he seemed to be laying out numbers that are problematic, to show that male rape is as prevalent as female rape. And that’s just flat out not true.
THE CLAIM Men’s rights activists often insist that men are victimized by sex crimes and abuse just as much as women are, if not more. This assertion is meant to support their contention that the courts and laws outrageously favor women.
THE REALITY A major 2010 study by the Centers for Disease Control’s National Center for Injury Prevention and Control thoroughly debunks such claims. Nearly one in five American women (18.3%), the study found, have been raped; the comparable number for men is one in 71 (1.4%). Not only that, but more than half (51.1%) of female victims reported that their rapist was an intimate partner — a current or former spouse or boyfriend, or a date. According to a 2000 study by the Department of Justice, female rape victims were also about twice as likely as male rape victims to be injured during an assault (31.5% versus 16.5%), even though many women do not physically resist their attackers for fear of injury. Overall, the studies found, most violence of all kinds against women (64%) came from current or former intimate partners, while that is true for only about one-sixth (16.2%) of men. Women were also far more likely to be stalked than men (16.2% versus 5.2%), and two-thirds of women’s stalkers (66.2%) were current or former intimate partners, compared to four in 10 for men (41.4%). A 2005 Department of Justice study also found that between 1998 and 2002, 84% of spousal abuse victims were female, as were 86% of victims of abuse at the hands of a dating partner. Males made up 83% of all spouse murderers and 75% of dating partner murderers.
Statistics from the Southern Poverty Law Center webpage (which is what I’m quoting here)
To add a personal anecdote– I have a friend who lives in a location where the law has been made more ‘fair’ regarding domestic abuse. So when her boyfriend attacked her, and she scratched him to get him off her, they took HER to jail because he had scratch marks and her bruises hadn’t shown up yet. And she was 8 months pregnant.
This is what I am concerned about when men’s rights people want to say that domestic abuse laws should be gender blind because supposedly both men and women do it. Women suffer from violence at the hands of men far more than men do from women. When people say that it’s equal and women are just as violent as men, I wonder about their agenda.
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