After watching the interview last night on Larry King Live with Mel Gibson’s former girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva, I’m in awe of her bravery and sincerity.  I now understand why Mel Gibson and his lawyers did not want to allow Oksana to speak about this in front of a camera.  She is believable.  When asked why she wanted to speak out publicly Oksana says she wanted stand up not only for herself but for all of the other victims of domestic violence who don’t have the privilege of speaking out.  They are forced into silence.

What struck me the most about Oksana’s interview is her clarity. Obviously, she has prepared to speak publicly with her lawyers but the level of authenticity that comes through in this interview is not something you can rehearse. She is very clear about the reason why she recorded Mel Gibson: she wanted to make sure her mother had proof of who killed her if she was murdered that night.  (Mel Gibson can be heard on the tapes threatening to murder her and bury her body.)

All of the calls that were recorded take place on the same night, the night that Oksana finally left Mel Gibson. Those of us who work with victims of domestic violence and are familiar with the cycle of abuse know that Gibson’s reaction in the tapes is extremely close to textbook.  What you hear on the tapes is Mel Gibson losing control.  The cycle of abuse is often one that repeats itself until the woman is murdered at the hands of her abuser or until the abuser is caught.  This is actually one of the rare cases when the victim is able to flee her abuser and it is a reflection of Oksana’s strength and her desire to keep Gibson away from their young daughter.

One thing really bothers me about this interview and it is the fact that Oksana is being grilled in this manner at all.  While it is true that she chose to be on television and she was prepared to answer difficult questions and to rebut many of the misinformation being spread in the media, grilling the victim and not the abuser is all to common in our society.  Grilling the abuse victim about why they didn’t leave sooner or asking about every detail about their behavior with a level of vigor that should be reserved for the abuser.  I hope I see Mel Gibson on Larry King Live in the future getting grilled in a similar manner.

Oksana Grigorieva ends the interview by saying that she wanted to speak out for all those other victims of domestic violence who are forced into silence.  Thank you Ms. Grigorieva for your bravery.

Watch the entire interview below:

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