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#SinceBushForgaveKanye… We all get to have fun.

» 11 November 2010 »

First of all, why did Kanye apologize? That was one of the few media blow-ups that Kanye has had that I was actually totally with.

(Although when he said it back in 2001, I was stupidly hyper-critical of his word choice. “Doesn’t care about” seemed kind of like soft selling it to me. But now I realize that if it had been me on live television deciding to NOT read the teleprompter and go rogue to try to blow up G Dub’s spot like that, I wouldn’t have been nearly as eloquent. Especially not with all those visions dancing though my head of me getting audited every year for the rest of my life.)

Second of all, did Kanye mean to apologize? According to his Twitter feed, Kanye got caught up in Matt Lauer’s baby blues (not that I know what Matt Lauer’s eye color is, but blue seems right), and apparently Kanye just said whatever Matty Nice wanted him to say. Which for a dude who always seems comfortable bum rushing and going off in whtever direction his lips take him, it seems weird that Matt Lauer is his Kryptonite.

Thirdly… of all, WHY THE FUCK DID GEORGE BUSH FEEL LIKE HE WAS HIGH ENOUGH ON THE MORAL HIGH GROUND TO BE IN A POSITION TO FORGIVE KANYE???

Ummm… George, Imma let you finish, but… YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT BLACK PEOPLE. You proved that during Katrina. And I no it doesn’t count that you used to own a few. And, just in case you didn’t know, you also don’t care about poor people, Iraqi people, Afghan people, non-born again Christian people, gay people… In fact, in the aggregate, it would seem you don’t really care much about… people people…. Unless they are rich, born again Christian people.

But I digress.

If we are going to spend time debating/discussing your “forgiveness” of Kanye West. (Ugh. Makes me wanna hurl just thinking about it.) Then at the very least, I’m gonna have some fun with it. Yesterday I started the #hashtag #SinceBushForgaveKanye to come up with other RIDICULOUS/ FLAGRANTLY INAPPROPRIATE/ generally UNSCRUPULOUS acts of forgiveness. For example…

@wkamaubell The United States is forgiving black people for allowing themselves to be kidnapped from Africa. #SinceBushForgaveKanye

@wkamaubell Saturated Fats are forgiving Type 2 Diabetes for not being better equipped to handle them. #SinceBushForgaveKanye

@wkamaubell Jay Leno forgives Conan O’Brien for letting him take the Tonight Show back… Wait. That probably happened. #SinceBushForgaveKanye

@wkamaubell Creationism forgives The Theory of Evolution for not being such a fun and easy to understand story. #SinceBushForgaveKanye

Some of them got kinda dark…

@wkamaubell Also Police Officers’ Bullets are forgiving innocent black men for being so irresistible. #SinceBushForgaveKanye

@wkamaubell Racist White People forgive the word “Nigger” for being so fun to say. #SinceBushForgaveKanye

@wkamaubell Jon Stewart forgives The Left for not understanding that he really doesn’t give a shit about helping people. #SinceBushForgaveKanye

I even had some co-writers…

@wkamaubell Israel forgives Palestine for not taking the hint. #SinceBushForgaveKanye

@wkamaubell The Israel/Palestine one was co-written by Maherah Silmi!!!!

Other people played too…

@hellatuff Rich people forgive Haiti for bumming them out. #SinceBushForgaveKanye
@Dante3000 Terry Jones forgives Muslims for having such flammable religious text .#SinceBushForgaveKanye
@NatashaMuseDick Cheney forgave Harry Whittington for looking like a quail. #SinceBushForgaveKanye #ohwaitthatactuallyhappened
@januflores #SinceBushForgaveKanye BP has also forgiven birds for being so oily.
@jamesdburrell2 The couch forgives CoinStar for stealing all of its money #SinceBushForgaveKanye
@JasonC1975 Carlos Mencia forgave the rest of comedy for not locking up its jokes in a safe place. #SinceBushForgaveKanye
@baileyharris @SarahPalinUSA forgives the Republican Party for not being obstinate (or bigoted) enough. #SinceBushForgaveKanye

A fun way to point out the ridiculousness of George W. Bush (arguably America’s worst president) forgiveness of Kanye West (arguably America’s best rapper) for Kanye’s pointing out the (inarguable) truth. It’s easy to play along… You take a shitty thing and a good thing… or even just a less shitty thing, and then you have the original shitty thing forgive the other thing for something that was the fault of the shitty thing. It’s fun.

Just be careful to remember the equation. Instead of…
@crazygemini12 #SinceBushForgaveKanye Cleveland forgives LeBron
I think it makes more sense to tweet…
@wkamaubell Lebron James forgives Cleveland for not being Miami. (co-written with @crazygemini) #TipTheWaitStaff #SinceBushForgaveKanye
So have at it. And make sure to #hashtag it with #SinceBushForgaveKanye. And just for the record… George Bush, I believe that you STILL don’t care about black people.

Related posts:

  1. Twitter is so Gangsta’
  2. [MUSIC] “POWER” Kanye West ft. Dwele
  3. Audio: Obama thinks Kanye is a Jackass (And We ♥ him for this)
  4. Well since you asked, Lebron…
  5. Domestic Abusers Need Help, Not Forgiveness

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