By now everyone has heard about Charlie Sheen’s drunken drug-fueled rage over the weekend in a New York hotel room.  Sheen was spending time with an escort and couldn’t find his wallet or cell phone and accused her of stealing it.  He flew into a rampage and began to throw furniture around the hotel room and the woman was so frightened she locked herself in the bathroom.

This recent story should not be viewed in isolation.  Charlie Sheen has a history of drug abuse and violence.  He also has a history of violence against women.  Just last year police were called to his home with reports that he put a knife to his wife, Brooke Muller’s throat. Yet time and time again his public reputation has recovered and he still receives millions of dollars for his comedy ‘Two and a Half Men’ on CBS.

Charlie Sheen’s history of violence against women includes the following:

- In 1990, Sheen was engaged to Kelly Preston (who is now married to John Travolta).  In what was deemed an “accident” Sheen shot Preston in the arm.

- In 1995, Sheen was sued by a UCLA student who claimed he hit her in the head when she refused to have sex with him.

- In 1996, Sheen knocked his then girlfriend Brittnay Ashland unconscious.  He pleaded no contest to the charges.

- In 2006, Sheen divorced his wife Denise Richards who claimed he threated to kill her and she had the voicemails to prove it.

- In 2009, Sheen threated his wife Brooke Muller with a knife.

Why don’t women matter more to us?  Why do we continue to forgive Sheen for behavior that should have put him into a jail cell by now?  A while back I wrote about both Chris Brown and Mel Gibson and the public’s desire to push reports of violence against women to the side and move on.  Forgive and forget.  Charlie Sheen is the perfect example of why that approach does not work.  Violence escalates over time and abusers often become more violent with each incident.  Asking for forgiveness is part of the repeating cycle of violence. 

The bottom line is that Charlie Sheen is a perfect example of why we shouldn’t be so quick to forgive a domestic abuser.  He has a history of bad behavior only because we excuse it.  Violence escalates.  It doesn’t go away because he says sorry.  I am not saying that an abuser should never be forgiven.  But why not make them really earn that privilege? Saying you’re sorry is easy.  When an abuser isn’t forced to seek help for their violent behavior, they are more likely to repeat the same behavior again and again.

We all need to do better.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.  Below are the statements of both Vice President Joe Biden and President Barack Obama on this issue that continues to plague society.  Violence against women should no longer be viewed as a private matter.  It affects us all and we have the power to hold abusers accountable to once and for all break the cycle.

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