Sunday gave us an opportunity to watch one of the greatest players ever in a vintage performance, but I want to talk about what happened after Stephen Strasburg left the mound.

If you’re one of the eight or nine people out there who watch The Daily Line regularly, you know that I’m a big Laker fan and a huge Kobe fan. But I am also a basketball fan, and these NBA Finals have been such a disgrace that they’re actually making Soccer seem interesting. At halftime of Game 6, I wondered aloud whether the Serbia/Ghana game was still on. Really, all you need to know is that I am an American Black man whose favorite team is in the NBA Finals, and I miss hockey.

The old Celtics and Lakers rosters were stacked in the the 80’s, with the likes of James Worthy, Dennis Johnson and even Bill Walton, beyond the huge stars. Today, we get treated to the likes of Big Baby Davis, Sasha Vujacic and Nate Robinson. The 80’s was Top Gun. This is Soul Plane. Wait, I forgot about 2008—this is Soul Plane 2.

At least we were treated to incessant promos for Grownups, thereby ensuring that noone who saw a second of the NBA Finals will ever watch that movie. As another aside, how can the media accuse Lebron of overshadowing the NBA Finals when Phil Jackson is sitting in King James’ throne during the games? I think I sat in one of those at the airport onetime—got a 30 minute message.

Okay, back to the hate. I cannot even begin to properly address my disgust for the Lakers in Game 6. Poor Kobe—Tony Montana had more help in the last scene of Scarface. Actually, it was more like the last scene of Bonnie and Clyde, only if Bonnie, in the form of Pau Gasol, turned on Clyde and shot him in the tattoo.

The Lakers performance perfectly mirrored my new Twitter avatar of a child stuck in a toilet.The Lakers inexplicably traded Pau Gasol for Christian Laettner between Games 4 and 5, while Lamar Odom was suffering from flu-like symptoms. I didn’t know “suck” was a flu-like symptom.

I will, however, give a pass to Andrew Bynum, who while gutting through an injury, looks like Kareem Abdul Jabbar—if Kareem had never retired and was still playing at age 63. It was nice of him to wear a
vintage WNBA knee brace though.

The rest of the team has no such excuse, although, in conclusion, I will offer one theory to explain what happened in last night’s game. Kobe chose the NBA Finals, but I think that somehow the other Lakers were secretly watching True Blood.

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