Are These Your Grandparents? Come Get Them, Please. |
I love old people, really I do. I want to grow old one day. Senior discounts, casino trips and Medicare benefits aside, I just want to be able to say whatever the hell I want and then look at people like, “What?! Say something! I’m 80, bitches!” *high kick and extended pose*
Although I’d love to believe that I’ll continue to maintain my current level of dopeness and astuteness, there is an ever-so-slight chance (not entirely disputed by familial history) that one day I will leave the house in pastel-hued polyester pants hiked up to my chin, talk several decibels louder than necessary, or burst into extended self-righteous rants because I completely misheard and misunderstood a conversation.
A Los Angeles chapter of the NAACP got all verklempt over a Hallmark graduation card featuring cartoon characters Hoops and YoYo. I could explain it, but really it’s funnier if you watch it for yourself.
Key takeaways?
1. While age should (in most cases) garner a modicum of respect, it is in no way a barometer of wisdom or common sense.
2. This shit is funny.
3. There should be some sort of press conference protocol prerequisite that includes screening of any audible “controversy” by at least two people not in line for hearing aids.
4. This shit is *really* funny.
5. Lest they completely lose footing in our “post-racial” society, the NAACP should stop letting local chapters hold press conferences without running an issue all the way up the flagpole. Please come get yo people, Mr. Jealous.
6. This shit is ridiculous.
Of course, this could spawn multiple conversations about “post racialism” and the continued efficacy of organizations such as the NAACP, local grassroots advocacy versus national agendas, and even my quizzically apparent ageism. [I’m not ageist, I promise. Some of my fondest friends are old people--we kick it on the daily.] This is not one of those conversations. Right now, I just want someone to tap the old people on the shoulder and tell them they got it wrong.
*high kick and extended pose*
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