The Black community has endured much infighting in our history. Good Times versus the Jeffersons. Tupac versus Biggie. Whitney Houston versus Crack… and now… Rashad Evans versus Rampage Jackson. The latest chapter in the Black Civil War was fought in the UFC last Saturday night and gave White America the chance to pretend that Black on Black crime wasn’t already one of its favorite pastimes, a fight so big that “Black on Black crime” became a top 10 twitter trend. I tell you… even when we win, we lose.

The racial tension got ugly before the fight when Rashad called Rampage an Uncle Tom, a charge Rampage completely refuted with his ring endorsement of Boost mobile. But the “Who’s Blacker” gamesmanship didn’t stop there. Rashad entered the octagon to Mobb Deep’s classic “Shook Ones.” Rampage entered the octagon to a song only recognizable to convicted felons. Rampage then countered the Uncle Tom label by calling Rashad “gay,” which surprised me because I thought Uncle Tom was gay. Or at least extremely metro sexual.

Once the fight got started, I admit I was torn. I’ve always loved Rampage but I identify more with Evans, and when the final decision was read in Rashad’s favor, I imagine that thousands of Black nerds like myself rejoiced for finally tasting victory over their bigger, cooler and Blacker tormenters. This one was for Steve Urkel, for Rog from What’s Happenin, Carlton from the Fresh Prince. This one was for Obama.

Rampage said after the fight, “I wish I never did that damn movie,” clearly siding with everyone’s who’s seen the A-Team trailer. The pay-per-view was littered with promos for The Expendables, an action movie starring every actor who’s ever made you day, “I’m sure glad he stopped making action movies.”

Finally, I’d like to point out that the crowd at the fight was a who’s who of the Black A-list. My man Mike Tyson, Snoop Dogg… Hammer. Hammer?!? Did he take a loan out for his seat? Seein Hammer at a fight in Vegas is like running into your boy who still owes you 50 bucks and he’s stuffing his face with lobster and shrimp. Shouldn’t you be working?

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