The talking heads at the top mobile, software, and video game companies nowadays remind me of video game characters. In many aspects they each become incredible caricatures of the companies they represent. In my warped sense of humor and overactive imagination I see them represented by people and animals made from digital pixels. Let’s delve into this and examine just what the hell I’m talking about, shall we?

Vic Gundotra as Mario
As the VP of Engineering for Google, Vic clearly is the hero of the mobile open platform space. Fresh off of his victorious showing at Google I/O 2010, Android’s delicious flavoring of Froyo is sure to satiate even the most vocal of rabid tech geeks. That is at least until the next iteration—Android 2.3 b.k.a. “Gingerbread”. Vic is having is in a love fest right now with not only fanboys, but people looking to jump ship from other mobile offerings like Blackberry and the iPhone. Simple in appearance yet powerful by nature, Vic is helping to bring about the next revolution on smart phone tech and taking everyone along for the ride. The breakneck pace at which the capabilities of the Android platform are increasing, seem to be an endless song of “I can do it all!”. The same idea is reflective of Mario with his numerous hats (the metal hat, the winged hat…), occupations (Dr. Mario, Paper Mario…), and places he can explore (Mario Kart…Mario World..Mario Galaxy).  Similar to the coming of Android 2.2, Mario Galaxy 2 is causing quite a stir. The parallels are endless. In fact I could see Vic wearing a pair of overalls and a nice thick mustache, proclaiming “Itsa me!” whenever an Android device is sold.

Reggie Fils-Aime as Sonic the Hedgehog (or Donkey Kong)
The CEO of Nintendo America is a loudmouth. He’s heavy-handed in his approach, theatrical by nature, and (un)acceptably cheesy. “My name is Reggie. I’m about kickin’ ass, I’m about takin’ names, and we’re about makin’ games.” Yes, he actually said that. Anyone who’s ever played any early Sonic games knows what I’m talking about. Reggie works in a brisk pace, knocking over anyone who stands in his way. The point (or what’s supposed to be the point) of most Sonic games (which are all POORLY designed nowadays—thanks SonicTeam!), is to go as fast as possible. That’s exactly what Reggie is about.  He wants to take the newest games & peripherals of the Wii, hype it up “TO THE MAX XTREME!”circa 90s slang, and sell everything as fast as possible; without regard to if it’s even useful. See: The Wii Light Sword & Babysitting Mama.

I couldn’t decide which was more befitting of Reggie so I gave him two personas. Donkey Kong works well with Reg because…well…they kinda resemble each other. The Regginator comes off as just a big brewing guy that looks pretty imposing. Like DK he looks like he will beat you and your grandma down for not playing Wii Sports Resort every day. Yet in reality he’s actually pretty nice guy. DK had a bad M.O. for kidnapping a certain princess yet his reputation has improved steadily over the years. Give DK a banana and he’ll chill out. Make sure the new Nintendo 3DS prints money and Reggie will chill out too.

Steve Jobs as Bowser

Yes—I went there. But wasn’t it obvious (to gamers anyway) that this was coming??? Right now Mr. Jobs is THE BULLY of the moment. At this point everyone knows not to cross Apple…poor Jason Chen. Do not attempt to touch, look at, or breathe on their devices without permission. Steve makes his disdain for Flash and all things “closed and proprietary” known (although intrinsically Apple software is also closed and proprietary…).

Bowser talks A LOT. Steve talks A LOT. Both have millions of minions at their disposal and are uber rich (how else can Bowser afford to send all those goombas on suicide missions?). Contrary to popular belief Bowser is actually pretty intelligent…at least in the comics. Bowser actually has very insightful musings about his villainous, reptilian ways and can come off as poetic—sometimes even making logical sense. The same can be said for Steve. Regardless of what any Apple hater says, he made extremely valid points in his letter. Although Bowser is always losing while Jobs seems to be forever winning, note that it’s always Bowser that’s in the mix. He is persistent, tenacious and will never stop kidnapping the princess (in Steve’s case, the princess is money). As long as Mario is alive and well, Bowser will be there to try stop him…See what I did there!

Related posts:

1. [TECH] Android’s Favorite Food is Froyo
2. BLACKBALL: NFL PLAYOFFS for Dummies, Women and People with Important Jobs
3. Today In Blackness: Disney’s attempt at blackness? Blacks don’t like it.