This has got to be the worst theme song ever. They should stop letting Ray J write songs… they should stop letting Ray J sing songs… you know what, actually, Ray J should be stopped. 

So apparently it’s Brandy’s birthday and Ray J took time out of his busy schedule as West Cost Party King (401K… is a drink) to plan a lavish 31st birthday in Miami. And by plan, I mean, he made two phone calls and requested half naked men. Wait… I think I skipped a part. No matter. 

Brandy has amazing skin. I’m not sure why they’re letting Ray J release lingeRay (I wish I was kidding.) and a fragrance (smells like desperation and no talent.) when Brandy could release a skincare line and make them rich.. again. It’s strange, Brandy is really, really weird looking but I still think she’s beautiful. She looks like a gorgeous, cartoon llama #noshade. So after they staged a whole conversation about going to Miami um… spontaneously, they pack, they go. 

Brandy is all butthurt because her pretend boyfriend, Flo Rida (who she continously, annoyingly refers to as “Flo”) Listen, unless you’re dating the mother from the Brady Brunch or The Jefferson’s maid, you don’t call a grown man “Flo”. You just don’t. Especially if said “FLo” looks like Rick Ross had his way with a Teddy Ruxpin. And Brandy, about dating “Flo”? You’re not. He couldn’t look less interested in you. You can do better. Please. Go do it. 

And for someone who hasn’t done anything, Ray J sure does yell a lot. 

 If I was him, I’d whisper everything. Stay unnoticed until I accomplished… things. 

I’d be so mad if I raised my child right. Did everything I needed to do as a parent and ended up with Ray J. This kid gets praised for getting out of bed in the morning. Brandy won Grammy’s been supporting the family since she was 14 and they treat her like she’s the maid’s cousin. 
I want to punch Ray J in the face. He decided to give his sister $10K in cash for her birthday. Just let that sink in for a second. Not only does Ray J HAVE $10K to give away, he gives it to his sister rather than buying her something. Ray J, you are a floral scented douchebag.  

Oh, also the parents went dancing or something. I forgot they were on this too. 

I hate this show…

See you next week!

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