Err…well not so much. I wish someone would give him a copy of the 14th amendment because he obviously has never read it.  According to Rand, children born of illegal immigrants should not be U.S. citizens even though the Constitution says this:

All persons born or naturalized in the United States…

He’s wrong and someone should gently tap him on the shoulder and tell him to STFU before he embarasses himself any further with his constant state of ignorance.

The incessant glare of the Blogosphere on the minds, hearts, and souls of Black women would be helpful if it wasn’t so not actually ABOUT Black women.  A careful review of the general narrative in these articles suggests that there is a concerted effort to push back against Black women’s self- determination.  If I was prone to Tin-Foil Fitteds I would almost suggest a conspiracy, but that requires a level of coordination and cooperation that Black men just can’t seem to manage.

I’m not a big fan of excerpts from right wing radio. I fully believe that there are times that clips are used through out liberal media out of context and perhaps the well known douchetabulous™ radio host isn’t in fact as douchey as he/she appears to be. I’m absolutely certain that if someone really wanted to, they could take clips of my stand-up, videos or any appearances I’ve made and make me seem mean and/or stupid.

But I think it’s hard to argue with this…

MediaMatters

I’m not sure of the purpose of this particular gag. I’m not judging this from an outraged liberal standpoint. I’m judging this strictly as a humor bit and I think its fairly obvious that it doesn’t hold up. The impression sounds borderline-mentally ill and is flat out mean to an 11 year old. When mocking (because lets face it, I. Mock. Hard.) there has to be a solid reason otherwise you run the risk of appearing to be an asshole. Mocking someone who is naive isn’t as funny as mocking someone who claims to be worldly and well versed, but upon hearing almost anything they say, comes off completely and utterly naive. Mocking when used properly, highlights faulty logic and ridiculous ideals. This “bit” Beck participates in only begs the question “What’s wrong with this guy?” Questioning the education of a child based on 1 sentence is a bad comedic premise. And funny enough, the statement in question, concerning Obama’s role in fixing the oil leak,  does more to paint a picture of the media’s current coverage of the BP oil disaster than disparage the child.

Glenn Beck is not a political pundit. He’s not versed well enough in politics to actually offer any true critique of anything. What Beck is, as he’s said in the past, is an entertainer. As such, when your work isn’t entertaining you have failed. And this time his failure includes the ridiculing of an 11 year old.

Magical really…

I’m not sure Beck can help it any more. I think he can’t help being a dick any more than someone can help having type 2 diabetes. Yes, with proper diet and exercise you can control it, but most don’t. They take pills and insulin instead. If we really want Beck to stop, maybe we need to fund research for “being-a-dick-itus.” One day we can find a cure. And then we can tackle and inject Rush Limbaugh, Michelle Malkin, Ann Coulter, Michael Steele, Kanye West, My cousin DeShaun, Scott Baio, Dick Cheney, The Writers of Lost, my 3rd Grade teacher who recently found me on Facebook and sent me a friend request and I was like “Really? Do you not remember 3rd grade? Why would I possibly want your name and dumb-ass status updates in my feed? You yelled at me all the time m’effer for no apparent reason. Even my Mama don’t like you! Seriously WTF?

Wait, what was I talking about?

UPDATE: Original Link was removed. New link added.

His Yeezy-ness seems to have dropped (read: leaked) the lead single from his upcoming album “Good Ass Job.” Good news: 0 auto-tune. The hook seeming to be a homage to the Spike Lee joint “Malcom X.”  Things you might notice immediately? Lines like:

“They say I was the abomination of Obama’s Nation. Well thats a pretty bad way to start a conversation.”

Which is followed up pretty fast with

“I don’t need your pussy, bitch I’m on my own dick.”

Take a listen for yourself.

Are you in NYC? TWiB! is giving away 1 pair of tickets to see the critically acclaimed “W. Kamau Bell Curve”  with none other than W. Kamau Bell (Comedy Central) as part of the solaNOVA Arts Festival TONIGHT.

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NOTE This was featured previously featured on The Urban Politico. The Blog consists of The Janitor, The Fed, Godson and TWiB’s Zerlina Maxwell as “Lady Z”. This is the first part of their discussion of Rand Paul –editor

Who is this Rand Paul character anyway? We all knew who Ron Paul was of course, but few Politicos had any idea that he had a son, let alone a super Tea Party vigilante disguised by day in true Clark Kent-like fashion as a 47 year-old ophthalmologist. One thing is for sure: the entire political world knows who Rand Paul is now. After he trounced the GOP establishment’s candidate in the Kentucky Republican Primary for the United States Senate seat, the Tea Party crowd exalted Paul from coast to coast as the proverbial second coming and perhaps as the answer they had all been looking for in order to solve their Obama problem. And for a second it all seemed possible…but then it happened. In a rather monumental “aha” moment, the likes of which had not been replicated since the infamous 2008 Katie Couric destruction interview of Sarah Palin, Rachel Maddow displayed her tiger-style investigative journalism skills and revealed the man behind the curtain last week to the world. The media, apparently encountering pure Libertarianism for the first time, has been buzzing about it ever since. So here’s our break down of the curious case of Rand Paul.

Lady Z’s take:

Rand Paul is my new favorite. His debut on the national scene last week was a complete and total train wreck (read: it made for very compelling teevee). It was very clear from his very first squirm on The Rachel Maddow Show when she asked whether he supports the Civil Rights Act of 1964, that Rand, was indeed not ready for prime time.

What could he have done differently to not come across as a bigot an intellectual with a Libertarian philosophy that while in theory seems to be a reasonable belief in smaller government involvement, actually works in the real world context to allow for discrimination of certain groups? Well for starters, Rand should never have gone on Rachel Maddow. I don’t know if he’s a frequent viewer, but his staff should know that if their candidate holds these crazy hard to explain and out of date beliefs, including being against the minimum wage, taking issue with certain provisions of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, wanting to abolish the Department of Education, and being against the Americans With Disabilities Act just to name a few, that you should not put him in the cross hairs of one of the toughest and most well researched interviewers in cable news. By the end of the week, Rand was flailing so much that he had to cancel his scheduled appearance on Meet the Press, being only the third person to do so in 62 years. This was likely his only smart move this week, even considering that David Gregory is no Tim Russert.

The Washington Post’s Eugene Robinson has an excellent op-ed out, where he poses a few questions for Rand who he says cannot stay in his cave and avoid answering until the November midterm elections. It should be required reading for spokesperson/communications flack so they can make sure they prepare Rand with adequate answers that would be acceptable to the general public of 2010 and not 1910. He absolutely needs to defend his beliefs between now and November, because many of his arguments were used by segregationists to justify their discriminatory practices (pictured left).

My parting advice to Rand: Stick to Faux News or Morning Joe. They are the only ones in cable news who won’t ask you why your ideas sound like they are being spoken by someone standing in front of a whites only water fountain.

When I first heard that Mary J. Bilge had a song named “We Got Hood Love”, the first thing that came to my mind was that Mary J. Blige is too damn old to be singing about a “hood love”, then I thought that we didn’t need another song about “hood love”. 95% of what we’re hearing on the radio these days is songs about hood love, better yet the absence of the substantive love, but rather love waged on materialism, lust, and dysfunction. Love is such a fragile and beautiful emotion that we have to be careful to with what we attach it to, especially when we append it to something associated with such blight, like the hood. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want a hood love, I don’t want to fuss and fight, I don’t need my passion stimulated in barbaric ways.

I don’t know Steve Harvey. Or Jimi Izrael. Or Hill Harper. Or any of the “Very Smart Brothas.” And they don’t know me. Quite frankly, I’d like to keep it that way.

All of these black men have been capitalizing off the “tragic single black woman” meme that has gained steam in the past year or so, and all of them have regurgitated the same set of bullshit. The dressing may vary, but the meat of what they have to share is nearly identical. Their views can essentially be boiled down to “black women must change to fit alongside antiquated ideas of masculinity in order to get/keep a man.”

Seriously guys, enough is enough.

Let’s put aside the machismo and lunacy for a second and just talk about the fact that not every black man thinks the way you do. Yet you all choose to present your ideas as if all of you are in agreeance before the first shot is fired. To be fair, there are brothers who think this way, and (maybe) they deserve a voice. But not every black man in America was sitting around waiting for Steve and Jimi to write the great tomes of black manhood and dating, and then silently nod in agreement as they present their findings. To even suggest that most men think the way they do paints a picture that says they are the exception to these hard and fast rules that black women can’t afford to take a risk on. Black men who don’t abide by this traditional/outdated/disrespectful mold of manhood and masculinity are shut out of the conversation and treated as if we are a myth, like the Loch Ness Monster or Drake’s hairline.

All the while, the Jimi Izraels of the world continue to project their inanity and bitterness and insecurities on our behalf. Personally, I can’t stomach it any longer.

VerySmartBrothas.com recently published a post about why funny women find it difficult to find dates.

WHAT?!?!

If the author doesn’t like a woman who can make him laugh, then by all means, we all have our preferences. Maybe he doesn’t like sunshine, joy, or happiness. I’m fine with that. It becomes problematic when he says most men think the way he does. I don’t think that way and neither do any of the men I know. And I’ll bet Elin Wood’s divorce settlement that if you took a straw poll, the numbers would come back inconclusive.

But that’s because we’re different. There are no set guidelines to “catching” a black man. What these men are putting forth are very specific guidelines to be attractive to very specific black men: themselves. As insulting and couched in male privilege as it is for these men to tell black women how fucked up they are, it’s also highly offensive for them to feel they have the capacity to speak on behalf of men everywhere.

Dating is personal. Let’s keep it that way.

The talking heads at the top mobile, software, and video game companies nowadays remind me of video game characters. In many aspects they each become incredible caricatures of the companies they represent. In my warped sense of humor and overactive imagination I see them represented by people and animals made from digital pixels. Let’s delve into this and examine just what the hell I’m talking about, shall we?

Few things evoke more emotion from a black woman than the subject of her hair.  Traditionally, hair has been one of the major defining characteristics of a black woman.  The Chris Rock documentary “Good Hair” brought this obsession into the consciousness of mainstream America, and folds of women vowed to “go natural” and “free themselves” from the prison of chemical relaxers.  But the actuality is that most seem to have traded one type of jail for another.

Um…

What the hell is going on?  Were the  GOP taken over by fantastically idiotic-completely racially ignorant-pod people? Am I in some sort of weird experiment where I’m being carefully fed all of my information about politics by some mad scientist?  The experiment? See at what point Elon hits the “REVOLUTION” button that all  Black people have. It’s like a panic button, but instead of getting all crazy, we get even.

Yesterday we posted video of Congress hopeful Les Phillip basically begging White’s to embrace him since he can attack President Obama and us mean ol’ Liberals can’t ‘t call him racist. Brilliant idea right? Now there’s audio of Newt Gingrich on Dennis Miller’s radio show, using the same argument in defense of Michael Steele!

Via Think Progress:

Newt Gingrich:
“And I think overall he is a very impressive guy despite the fact – in fact, I think one of the reasons the elite media attacks him is it drives the left crazy to have an African-American chairman of the RNC because then they can’t attack the RNC for being racist.

It’s reasonably implausible to say, “Go look at that racist chairman Michael Steele.” And so I think that they try to find other ways to attack him because I think they realize that he’s the beginning of a genuine threat.”

Um…er…well…but the thing…and the other thing…uh…

Ahem…

Dear Newt Gingrich,

First off, let me commend you on an amazing job of being this spectacularly douchey for so many years. A lot of people let their “Douche Game™” fall off after a while–not you though. It’s this type of commitment that takes you places…hell being one of them.

Your argument that Steele is the reason why the GOP can’t be called racist is…um…how do you say…idiotic. Steele is one of the main reasons I currently believe the GOP is totally fucked when it comes to race. The party has kept an obviously inept guy in charge for far too long. When the Republicans first pulled out Operation:”We have a Black guy too!” it was sort of funny. But as time went on and gaffe after gaffe was made by the GOP’s equivalent of the know-it-all cousin who knows absolutely nothing yet he’s allowed to run around the family re-union with out being tackled, the once “Oh that’s funny” Chairman has became even more insulting.

The GOP believe that having what appears to be your “Black Friend” in charge some how absolves them from the sin of racism and exclusion that the party has been guilty of for so many years. The very reason why you claim you are above reproach on the topic of race is the same exact reason you are so culpable for the current racial tension between parties.

Michale Steele is an ASS. He has shown nothing higher than questionable judgement on the direction in which your party has taken and yet he’s still chairman. I think it’s pretty obvious that the GOP looks at him as some sort of magical amulet that makes it okay for you to continue stoking the fire of the Tea Party yet scream time and time again that you are not exclusionary.

I say all this to say Mr. Gingrich. Fuck you very much.

- ejw

Tell ‘em why you mad James.

Does he want Obama to swim down and plug the hole himself?  Just asking.

I will be the first to admit, I’ve watched For The Love of  a Beaver  several times, maybe one too many times, but that’s besides the point. I always wondered why these women were willing to subject themselves to embarrassment for the love of a beaver who’s biggest claim to fame was getting his knob slobbed on by Kim Kardashian.  Sure Ray J may have had a few songs, and a few sitcom appearances, but no one was checking for his ass until the infamous homemade porno.

But I digress. This post isn’t about Ray J’s penis, but something a lot more serious, and an epidemic that is affecting black women every where.

F*CKED UP LACE FRONT WIGS, which I’d like to refer to as Lace Frontitis!

Forget about this supposed “I’m A Single Black Woman Woe Is Me” epidemic, the real crisis sweeping the nation are lace front hairlines that start at the eyebrows!

Last night as I was watching Brandy & Ray J’s show, or Ray J’s & Brandy’s show, whatever, I couldn’t help but to notice how tragic her lace front wigs were. There is no human being walking the face of the earth who’s hairline starts at the middle of their forehead.

Well besides, this person:

When your hairline resembles that of Eddie Munster, you seriously need a lace front intervention. Forget about chasing around Flo Rida, Brandy needs to chase around another stylist to fix those horrible wigs.

Now Brandy definitely isn’t the only person to suffer from Lace Frontitis.  Just look at Kelly Rowland in the picture below:

Kelly….What in god’s name is going on with that hairline? Where’s your part? Where’s the natural hairline, or at least some natural looking baby hair (#noChili). I’m not even going to mention that you can also see where the lace front begins.

Don’t think it’s only the rich and famous with horrible Lace Frontitis. You can walk into any beauty supply nowadays and pick up a cheap lace front for less than $50. I can’t count how many women I’ve seen on the streets of DC & Baltimore with what resembles roadkill on their heads.

I’ve seen crooked hairlines.

I’ve seen glue and lace exposed hairlines.

The madness must STOP!

Seriously, I blame Tyra & Beyonce for this lace front wig epidemic. Tyra & Beyonce have definitely had their fair share of lace front mishaps, but for the most part, Beyonce has always kept her lace fronts ‘natural’ looking (well as natural as you can get wearing hair that has been sewn onto a piece of lace and then super glued to your forehead). If you’re seriously going to venture out and attempt to wear a lace front, at least make sure you’re not walking around looking like Eddie Munster’s twin sister.

By now I’m sure you’re all well aware of the huge BP oil spill. No need going into detail. The facts are gruesome enough. What is interesting is the flack the current administration is getting over their handling of the crisis. The phrase “Obama’s Katrina” was thrown around the second oil hit water for conservatives, thinking that this time it could possibly stick. As opposed to all those other times they tried to use the same phrase in other debates. (Health Care, Financial Reform and The Stimulus, Unemployment) It didn’t really work then. But this? An oil spill? On Obama’s watch? And he didn’t walk on water to magically fix everything and hand out free money and electric cars like some beautiful mix of Oprah and Jesus? The GOP couldn’t be happier right now. They now have, what they see as a foothold to really get at Obama for being the Leftist, Socialist, Marxist, Terrorist (did I miss any -ist?) bastard that he is. Not seeing that the GOP spends most of their time not giving too much of a damn about the environment and being all about drilling in the face of a major, and insanely damaging, event such as this. Nice try. You’ve managed to make yourselves look more like out of touch douchebags then you already do.

The interesting part of this is the Liberal wing of Obama’s own party, starting to use the same rhetoric. Last night, Keith Olbermann started a countdown of how long the oil spill has been going on and talked to Howard Fineman about why hasn’t Obama “fired” BP from handling the clean up. This is where I have a problem with the people more left of me. I guess I’m not sure what they want Obama to do. He isn’t going to “fire” anyone. As much as people compare him Hitler, he isn’t going to stop the people who should be dealing with it from dealing with it. And like it or not, BP NEEDS the deal with it. So stop it with that. He’s doing what he can within the power of his office. Outside of him going to New Orleans, forcing BP CEOs to clean animals at gunpoint, he’s doing as much as he can. As cool as that might sound.

The more Liberal in the party want Obama to be their own Bush. A guy that rolls over the other side with force and disdain, without a thought of the rules or procedure to further their agenda. It would be cool, wouldn’t it? The problem is that Obama was never going to be that guy. He ran on returning to the “right” way to govern. Everybody hashing it out and getting their ideas out and coming up with compromises to form solutions to problems in America…..yeah, that’s not working so well. But that’s not the point. He isn’t going to be “our” Bush, as pleasing as that sounds. So turning on him isn’t going to get your agenda furthered. Sorry. We’d all like a “Democrat Bush”, but that business isn’t going to happen. I feel like people don’t understand how government works. They seem to remember Bush doing whatever the hell he wanted and thinking that’s how politics works. Tit for tat. That’s not how it works. Sorry. Obama is dealing with a very complex and dangerous problem that never happened before that could get alot worse. Sure, there have been oil spills before, but not like the magnitude we’re dealing with now. This is all new ground. None of this is easy going. If there were an easy solution, it would be taken care of already. And dealing with a very complex and dangerous new problem that could do serious damage to the environment and economy in the long term while under the constant watch of a nation with a short attention-span and political opponents that are looking for any possible reason to use against you is ALOT different then flying over a town flattened out by a natural disaster with people dying in the streets and saying “Heck of a job, Brownie“.

First, he plagiarized what is probably President Obama’s most notable speech, his 2004 convention address.

And then to top it off he doesn’t know or care that Puerto Rico is not a separate country from the United States. No wonder Sarah Palin endorsed him in his House race in Idaho.

Awesome.