In case you missed last Friday’s appearance…

And the rest of us say “Um, duh.”  Someone CC: Debra Lee

“Black Entertainment Television, which Sheila Crump Johnson and her husband Bob started three decades ago with $15,000 in seed money and a $500,000 investment from media mogul John Malone, made her one of wealthiest women in America.

When Viacom bought them out in 2000, Sheila and Bob pocketed $1.3 billion—making them, pre-Oprah, the nation’s first African-American billionaires.

So today she must be extremely proud of her baby, right?

“Don’t even get me started,” says the 60-year-old Johnson, who has since divorced and remarried (charmingly enough, to the Virginia circuit court judge who presided over her divorce). “I don’t watch it. I suggest to my kids [a 20-something daughter and a college-age son] that they don’t watch it… I’m ashamed of it, if you want to know the truth.” – DailyBeast

Now what you’re probably expecting me to do is to freak the “Eff” out about BET. Express my incredible disgust with the channel and my wish that a tear in the space-time continuum happened directly in the middle of the BET offices and it was swallowed and sent spinning into the abyss of…well…space-time. But no. I’m not going to do it. I refuse to do it. It is unnecessary for me to do it…since I’ve already taped a video of me doing it almost a year ago…

H/T @Afrobella

As you all are fully aware of, Black Women are Broken. Farai Chideya has a word or 2 to say about that…

It’s open season on black womanhood. Nightline became the latest media outlet to tackle the issue of why black women aren’t married. The problem is not the topic, but the approach. Like a recent series of articles, books, and television segments (and one Nightline did last year), the show’s focus was on the purportedly low value of black women in the dating marketplace and the wisdom of black women’s choice to stay single versus marrying men who don’t fit their criteria.

Let’s get real for a minute here. Yes, black women are sometimes taken for granted by black men, and men of other races. (I’m thinking here of musician John Mayer saying he had a “David Duke c**k,” because it only responded to white women. Black womens’ response, for the most part: awesome, dude! Less dysfunction for us!) Black women also get oddly, back-handedly criticized for being too functional — for being the majority of black college graduates and growing old alone. In reality, black women with college degrees are more likely to have married by age 40 than those with high school degrees (70 to 60 percent). For white women, high school educated women are slightly more likely to have married than college-educated ones (88 to 86 percent)…

>>>Continue Reading at The Huffington Post

Check out the host of This Week in Blackness Elon James White on Countdown w/ Keith Olbermann! Check your local listings!

I’m not sure what the deal is with ABC’s deep commitment to holding town hall, black student union style meetings centered on the current state of affairs of black women, relationships and marriage. Frankly, I was also caught off guard when erstwhile King of Comedy Steve Harvey was crowned ‘expert’. But what I do know is that I really need this madness to stop. Posthaste.

A far more clever blogger than me (What up, Racialicious?) had pointed out that in the world of relationship advice books, one should read the wise counsel from one you would likely date. Par exemple, if you want to date a guy like Steve Harvey, then read his book. If you want to date Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider, then read The Rules. If you want to date Greg Behrandt, then read He’s Just Not That Into You. If you want to date Hill Harper, then read Hill Harper.

Melissa Harris-Lacewell captures the essential flaws of the discussion. And highlights a problematic construct of the panel:

Without structural analysis or evidence-based reasoning the panel relied on personal experience. Steve Harvey, Hill Harper and Jimi Izrael have all written books on the black marriage/partnership crisis. To varying levels, all of these texts frame the issue as a black female problem rather than a community issue, offering advice that encourages women to mold themselves into a more sanitized definition of femininity that doesn’t compete with socially sanctioned definitions of masculinity.

Each of these male participants was allowed to pontificate about the ways that black women should behave without being challenged as to their own relationship history and status. None of these men can boast a lifetime marriage to one black woman. Such personal information is relevant only because personal narrative was the sole basis of the conversation. Thus, the women participating in the panel were subjected to public scrutiny of their supposed shortcomings, while the men’s biographies were shrouded in an assumption that their maleness alone made them worthy.

The emphasis is mine.

I can only imagine that impetus for this follow up by Nightline was partially in response to the play Jill Scott garnered for CNN recently in response to her article in Essence Magazine.

Ugh.

Love, that many splendor (or splintered, depends on your point of view) thing is in need of love today. This isn’t to say that there are some statistical patterns that are worthy of exploration in terms of marriage as an institution, social mobility of black women, class, relative to region, etc. However, this is to say that the framing of this rather age old (and occasionaly insular) debate could use some balance. More than clichéd advice, finger pointing, list making, blaming, personal anecdotes, platitudes and bromides.

Greetings. My name is Elon James White…and I’m still the Average Black Person.

Not a lot has changed since the last time I got all average and Black on your asses.  I’m still average.  I’m still Black.  Even with all of the rigamarole that people were having over classification on the census forms (To Be Negro, or not to Be . . . that was the question . . . I chose ‘not’), I’m still just plain-old Black.

I don’t even qualify as a cool shade of black that might garner interesting (read: annoying and oft-ignorant) questions.  I wouldn’t be categorized as super dark (“Is your family from Africa or the Caribbean?“  Never mind the fact that there are incredibly dark-skinned people who are fifth generation American.)  Nor am I light skinned(ed).  (My Mom is; I’ve seen her field questions like “You gotta be mixed, right?” and she’s not.  When it happened most recently I soooo wanted her to respond with: “Possibly. Or perhaps there was a case of rape in my family from back when we were slaves.  Thanks for bringing that up.  Oh!  And have a Happy Confederate History Month!”)  But I don’t have any of those problems. I’m just regular old middle-of-the-road Black.

But let me take back the previous statement that things haven’t changed.  Some things definitely have.  Not with me per se (I still rock), but with race in America (No CNN-O).

Apparently, people have gone—or at least have embraced being visibly—bat-shit crazy.

Tavis Smiley and his get-fresh crew are still fanning flames about possible allegations that President Obama isn’t specifically helping Negroes. (He even teamed up with Farrakahn. Not to worry though, he didn’t have any mortgages to help peddle this time.)  We have the ever-expanding Tea Party, which is very, very diverse. . . or so they keep saying. (If you have to continuously defend your diversity levels, perhaps you may not be the melting pot of ethnicities that you THINK you are.)  The unemployment rate for Black men is flat-out scary. But that should improve soon . . . since finding a job in this economy is super hard . . . and unemployment extensions are barely getting passed. . . soon they (And the REST of America) won’t be able to claim, and that’ll make them NOT unemployed anymore, right?!?!  And if I’m to believe virtually every major media outlet, Black women are broken: They can’t get a man because of various issues that they haven’t fixed yet (being highly educated, having standards, ugh.  What is wrong with these ladies?)  Luckily for them, the media has experts like Steve Harvey to help them out.

Note to Black Women: Please do not throw your coffee at the computer screen.  That was sarcasm.

As I take all of this in and hear what we, as Black people, think of the subject (thanks, Nightline!) I feel as if once again I’d like to throw some things out there.

Media
I’m not sure what your purpose is when it comes to Black people anymore.  It’s as if because the highest office in the land is held by a Black person, you feel as if you now have to pay more attention to Black people in general.  But watching panels held by MSNBC, CNN’s infamous Black in America series, and the latest travesty that appeared on Nightline, it seems that you have no clue as to how to deal with us.  You always use extreme ends of the spectrum to explain and express certain issues. Rarely do you EVER hit the mark.  I understand that dealing with Black people like . . .well . . . like they’re “people” is HARD.  It’s pretty new to you guys.  Fifteen years ago, a Negro’s face on the news for some random crime was the answer.  Now you have an African-American (in the truest sense of the phrase) signing Nuclear Proliferation agreements.  That’s gotta be hard. If only Blacks would just find a nice little box and STAY in it.  But so that we’re clear: you’re going to continue to get a shitload of complaints and criticism until you realize that your handling of “us” is clumsy, insulting, and almost never helpful.  I say all of this to say “quit it.”

Supposed Black Experts
Holy shit.  What are you guys DOING?  From politics to relationships, every time someone seems to be explaining Black folks it comes off as completely asinine.  I understand books need to be sold in order for everyone to maintain their awesome lifestyles, but peddling this much garbage has to garner some sort of bad karma, right?  Aren’t you afraid of the universe just tripping you down a flight of stairs or something?  I’m always amazed when “we” classify “ourselves” as one group.  It’s magical, really.  Who genuinely thought it was a good idea to have a nationally televised panel on “Why Black Women Can’t Find a Man?” with hilariously ill-informed experts? In the same country that a few years ago Black woman were being classified as “welfare mothers” we’ve decided re-evaluate them and say since you’re really successful and educated, “Well thats why no one wants yo’ ass.” And as Princeton Professor Melissa Harris-Lacewell pointed out, what qualifies these Negroes as the definitive voice?  So much of the “Blackness” experts’ knowledge comes from personal experience.  That doesn’t make you an expert.  That makes you one voice within MILLIONS.  The scariest part is that non-Black folks are listening to you guys as if you are an encyclopedia!  A “Negropedia” if you will.  Do you care what effect you have on REALITY?  When you go on Nightline, this isn’t you postulating in the barbershop or at dinner with friends.

Critics of Obama
It’s amazing.  I have virtually the same response when I listen to Rush Limbaugh as I do when I listen to Tavis Smiley and Michael Eric Dyson at times.  Not because they’re the same—because really?  Rush Limbaugh is a buffoon wrapped in idiocy sprinkled with the Dark Side with a side of douchebaggery—but because they speak in such ridiculous ways and often seem to completely misunderstand the situation.  One side of the coin  cries “Obama isn’t taking care of BLACK PEOPLE” while the other side screams “Obama is racist and only cares about BLACK PEOPLE.” Critiquing is an awesome luxury.  We can say what we feel and when people are doing dumb shit they should be held accountable.  But I’d argue seventy-five percent of you guys have an agenda outside of what’s best for America.  And when I say “America,” that includes Black people.  Obama isn’t in any way perfect.  He does dumb shit and calling out “dumb shit” isn’t bad.  Calling out “unreasonable standards for someone in the situation that this guy is in” is bad.  How can you expect be taken seriously if you’ve become a cartooned version of whatever ideal you thought you were upholding?

Know what’s awesome? Being post racial. It’s Teapartyriffic!

We here at This Week in Blackness™ would never condone black on black violence…unless it’s the type of beat down @InsanityReport gave one Mr. Jason Whitlock (@WhitlockJason) concerning his latest Fox Sports Column “Big Ben pays for wrong-headed decisions.”  Here’s an excerpt from said column…

EXCERPT———-
Listening to the naive and dishonest media discussion about the latest sexual assault allegation leveled at Ben Roethlisberger, you’d think Usher (and maybe Rick Pitino) was the only other American who wants to make “love in this club.”

No wonder NFL commissioner Roger Goodell had such a difficult time ruling on how long to suspend the Pittsburgh quarterback. On Wednesday, Goodell banned Roethlisberger for six games….

It’s a fair suspension. Unfortunately, PacBen’s transgressions have never been put in proper perspective for the public.

…

According to the “witnesses,” Roethlisberger’s bodyguards dragged the accuser to the bathroom, blocked the entrance into the bathroom and Roethlisberger approached the accuser with his penis exposed.

Once these accounts were introduced as “evidence” into the court of public opinion, broadcasters and pundits had all the ammo they needed to convict Ben as “disgusting” and call for Goodell to take swift and hard action.

It was completely irresponsible. Statements made by drunken sorority girls are not facts. Statements made by sober sorority girls about an evening spent bar-hopping and drinking are not facts. (Excerpt from Fox Sports)

Yes ladies. If you have had some drinks, and then say someone might have assaulted you, you are NOT stating facts. Needless to say, there was a bit of a “Freaking the FUCK out...” on the internet. Enter someone with the time and energy to write a magnum opus concerning this.

I’ll call a spade a spade.  You’re the kind of guy that gives the rest of us guys a bad name.  I’ve been called a sexist before.  Wrongly so sometimes and sometimes rightly so.  Sometimes we guys tend to make comments that we fine funny or innocent but in reality are offensive to women.  It’s wrong but it happens.  Some women throw out terms like “sexist” and “misogynist” against any man who disagrees with them.  That’s also wrong, but it also happens.  But this isn’t one of those times.  Nope.  This was the definition of a sexist and misogynistic article without a doubt.  It’s as if you took every complaint women have about men when it comes to the issue of rape and doubled down just to erase any doubt that “I am man, hear me roar sexism.”

I can’t possibly re-post his response – If you have some time, a LOT of time, go read it.

In an effort (we hope) to keep Keenan Thompson’s pants on, Saturday Night Live has tapped Gabourey Sidibe to host this week’s show. And folks, Gabourey Sidibe is hilarious. Seriously. Reach back to a tender time when Conan O’Brien hosted The Tonight Show; even Conan succumb to Sidibe’s effervescent charm.

Below is a mashup of this week’s promos:

I’ve got high hopes that Saturday’s show will rescue this seriously unfunny season and leave us with something more….precious? Or at the very least avoid obvious puns around the namesake of Sidibe’s breakout role.

Yes. Michael Steele said it. Seriously…

“You really don’t have a reason to, to be honest — we haven’t done a very good job of really giving you one. True? True,” Republican National Chairman Michael Steele told 200 DePaul University students Tuesday night. (source)

I believe if you listened really carefully at that EXACT same moment – you probably could’ve heard a collective “Um, duh.” from the subconscious of 89.3 % of black people across the land (That statistic is completely made up, but it sounds about right, right?) But that’s not the awesome part. THATS NOT THE AWESOME PART. In the same speech in which Steele clearly states that the GOP hasn’t given any reason for Blacks to throw in behind them he throws this nugget out….

“I have advised our state chairs: Don’t turn your nose up, or turn away those who are active in the Tea Party movement. Embrace them. Welcome them. Talk to them,” Steele said. “Those activists have now become a very large part of our voting bloc.

Cause…that’s a great way to get Black Folks to think the GOP cares about the interests of minorities? Embracing the TEA PARTY? That’s reasonable. I can see why he’s the National Republican Chairman. He’s a thinker.

I always make sure to fully disclosed that in my youth I played the role of a “Black Republican.” Yes, I did eventually get my shots and now its all cleared up (I can’t pass it on to you, unless I’m having a flare up…) so I feel like I understand what the arguments are, but right now there ARE no arguments. Signing up with the GOP now is like saying “Oooh, i want to get a job on that big ol’ Deathstar over there! It destroy’s planets? AWESOME. Oh, it would destroy my home world and all of my people with out giving a rats ass? SUPERB!”

Michael Steele is magical.

Jay Z is way older than me.

I feel the need to point out that one of the hottest rappers in the game and most recognizable artists in the world is actually NOT in my generation. He’s a Generation X’er.  I am considered a Millennial or something or other. This means that I’m not completely disconnected via the virtue of age when it comes to music yet. Hence when I say “What the FUCK is this?” I feel it’s incredibly valid. And the latest “What the FUCK is this (#WTFiS?) is the remake of Quincy Jones’ classic “Secret Garden.” I was a young lad (Yeah, I said lad, bitch what?) when this song came out but I remember it being smooth then. As I got older I always gave a head nod to the Debarge, Al B. Sure, Barry White, James Ingram  collabo. Then I heard that Jermaine Dupri (Although I’ve read that Quincy was behind this from different sites) was remaking Secret Garden with Usher and Robin Thicke…

What in holy hell is that?

It felt as if I were having a stroke. It was as if my ears sort of recognized this song but then I was attacked and beaten within an inch of my life…that’s the only explanation for the weird drums and snares that I “thought” I was hearing during this song. WHY!? WHY would you remake this? Can’t we make any new music? NONE? REALLY?

I’ll say it. I’d rather listen to “Reverse Cowgirl” by Teddy <Insert rapey innuendo> AKA T-Pain. At least that song tried to be original. It was devoid of creativity and full of horrendous metaphors, but ORIGINAL. The production was on point and it didn’t take a crap on a classic.

(LINK)

I’ll fully admit that I’m not very open minded about the always amusing “Tea Party.” I will also admit that I am not a big fan of stupidity drizzled in ignorance, which is just a more interesting way to say the previous sentence. Lo and behold the New York Times drops this nugget into my lap.

It makes sense that people would take to the streets to protest government spending and enormous deficits during the Great Recession, when they are feeling economic pain most acutely.

But the Tea Party supporters now taking to the streets aren’t the ones feeling the pain.

In the results of the latest New York Times/CBS News poll, they are better educated and wealthier than the general public. They are just as likely to be employed, and more likely to describe their economic situation as very or fairly good.

Heh.

Well DUH. Of course they aren’t suffering that much. THATS why they can say the outlandish shit that they throw out there. We don’t need healthcare reform because they (mostly) HAVE health insurance. They’re issue is the Negro giving away what they think is theres…which really? It isn’t. It’s all of ours you ignorant asses…