Not Just the Redskins: Unsolicited Name-Change Suggestions
I just don’t think these pro sports teams are seeing the upside of changing their names and logos away from their current Native-American-stereotype-filled ones. Think of the marketing opportunities inherent in doing the right thing here: you can sell all-new gear and create a robust memorabilia market for the old stuff, which many racists will no doubt cling to like they do the Confederate Flag! Clearly a win/win. Lots of other people have come up with new potential names for the DC team, but I have a few of my own, for the other teams on the questionable logo list:
Stanford pioneered the practice of dropping an insensitive mascot name (Indians) and changing it simply to an awesome color (the Cardinal). Bonus: Cardinal is also a bird that is in widespread use as a mascot, so Stanford fans feel justified in getting very snippy if the unsuspecting commentator mistakenly associates their patrician, elegant Color Mascot (which is not at all like Harvard’s Crimson) with a dumb bird. Chicago could be the first team I’m aware of to adopt a color other than red — or Dartmouth’s green — (or maroon . . . shut up, University of Chicago) as its mascot, and its association with blues music has the potential to make for some numerous, if chilly, halftime performance opportunities for area musicians.
Atlanta inexplicably revived the “screaming Indian” logo in 2013 season’s batting practice hats after they had retired it in the 1980s. For their bad judgment, they deserve to wear this plain, scarlet A. The new logo would associate them forever with two authors: one of history’s preeminent Yankees, Nathaniel Hawthorne, and one of the Confederacy’s most public apologists, Margaret Mitchell. Remember, Atlanta, history can be ugly, and it’s best to acknowledge its ugliness and move forward having learned from those mistakes. Nobody likes wearing the Scarlet Letter, but frankly, my dear, in your case, I don’t give a damn.
Yes, ‘mo is an incredibly dated and derogatory term for gay men. Yes, the whole point of the exercise is to get away from derogatory terms. But hear me out: a stadium full of red-state Midwesterners, transformed into rainbow-clad Bronies, cheering men in tight pants? And the name itself? GET IT? You know us gays LOVE ironic puns! Not to mention, who’s to say a number of those KC fans aren’t gay themselves, and just afraid to come out because of the stupid NFL blacklist that has left a perfectly decent kicker like Chris Kluwe (who sat behind me in AP Biology at Los Alamitos High School; haters to the left) out of a job just for being awesome?
Indians Sad Lebrons
Get over it, Cleveland.