Ugh, Black People Are the Worst
Be better, black people! Gosh!
The Snarkmistress General, Betty Cracker of Rumproast and Balloon Juice flags some epic concern trolling about how we Negroes just don’t know a good leader when we see one, and goddammit, what’s wrong with us:
Thers at Whiskey Fire introduces readers to a typing cream cheese sculpture over at Townhall: Columnist Katie Kieffer (a name which is surely the “Shaniqua Washington” of my tribe) presents three “brilliant black leaders” who are a credit to their race and hopes that “the black community starts listening to brilliant black leaders who can and will help them succeed.”
The snark is strong with Whiskey Fire‘s Thers, as well:
Are you a black person? Have you ever considered becoming a black person? Here is some great advice about how to be a good black person!
So of course I click through for some good ol’ fashioned whitesplanation and concern trolling from Katie Somethingorother at Town Hall:
I’m surfing between the major news networks on a recent evening and I catch FOX News Channel’s Sean Hannity in the middle of an amazing interview with a guest named Harry Alford, the CEO and co-founder of the Black Chamber of Commerce.
My jaw drops as Alford essentially calls Obama an anti-business tyrant who is hurting the African American community; he says he voted for Obama in 2008 but now has buyer’s remorse.
I get to thinking: Given the choice between Alford and Obama, why do many blacks still choose Obama? Why does Obama have an 88 percent approval rating among African Americans while his overall approval sits at 47 percent? After all, what has Obama done to help African Americans? [Free phones, for starters. -ed]
I am concerned and puzzled because the black community seems to be ignoring the wisdom of successful black leaders in business, medicine and journalism. [Not like that ne'er-do-well leader of the free world Barack Obummer guy, mirite?! -ed.]
Ugh, Black people. We’re the worst. Nonetheless, you’ll have to excuse me if I don’t take advice on how to be a better black person from a pretty blonde thing descended from a race of people responsible for Jell-O salad and green bean casserole.
Just sayin’.
[Whiskey Fire via Balloon Juice]
Imani Gandy
Latest posts by Imani Gandy (see all)
- Hispanic Immigrants Be Stupid — But Vote GOP! - May 8, 2013
- Obama Says Guantanamo Should be Closed. Again. - April 30, 2013
- MI DEM: Some of My Best Friends Are Niggers - April 29, 2013
Filed Under: be a better black person, Katie Kieffer, silly white people, Townhall
Please tell me her middle name is Krystal.
I wonder if she dates Bob Huber, who had a lot to say about what its like to be white in Philadelphia.
He’s suffered. She’s suffered. OH HOW THEY HAVE SUFFERED.
I purposefully have not read that Philly article out of fear that my insides will end up on the outside.
“Katie Kieffer (a name which is surely the ‘Shaniqua Washington’ of my tribe) …” God. Damn. That’s some good snark right there.
As a middle class, middle aged white woman who didn’t grow up black but enjoys lecturing black folks on proper Negrotude I must agree with this generic, attractive blond lady. If there’s one thing black folks need it’s some random white lady to tell them what’s good for them and just who they should follow. After all, they can’t do it for themselves.
I’m sure Katie K. will tell you she has a great relationship with the blacks. In so many words.
I posted something similar over on Balloon Juice… I bet this young woman would sound like the white guy in How to Relax Your Colored Friends at Parties. Lenny Bruce was a national treasure.
She needs to talk to some Black Israelites. She won’t worry herself with black folks anymore after a session with them.
If anyone’s wondering yes, conservatives really are that stupid. They really think non whites give a shit about what they have to say.
Now hold on one gosh-darned minute there, Missy.
Jell-O salad is fucking awesome and just because you were scarred by that freak mayonnaise accident when you five does not mean, and I mean DOES NOT MEAN!!11!1!!! that Jell-O salad should be a target of your snark.
Sure, we brought you folks like Strom Thurmond and Jesse Helms and of course we are responsible for shit like the “Frito Bandito” and that whole calamity known as One Million Moms, but goddamn Jesus in a Jell-O mold, Jell-O rocks, particularly when paired with cheap, I mean dirt cheap alcohol.
As for green bean casserole, well, ya got us right fucking there.
I can’t even understand anything you’re saying, Mr. I Put Jell-O in Mayonnaise and Then Eat It.
Posting to voice my support of the pro-jello salad crowd. If I can’t call processed horse hooves, food coloring, marshmallows, and for some goddamn reason carrot shavings a salad, this is no longer the America I grew up in.