BLACKBALL: Parity Breeds Contempt | January 30, 2009

In my day, teams were teams. They could play offense and defense. Players came off the bench who had played professional football before. If another team took your manhood, you had the common decency to ask before accepting an illegitimate playoff berth.

Years ago, in trying to close the chasm between the haves and the have-nots (okay, the Steelers and Cardinals), the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE adopted a hard salary cap (limit) on players, which has helped achieve the competitive balance they sought. But at what price AT WHAT PRICE?!?!!? Now, instead of the better teams and league officials stockpiling talent and pulling away from the inept ones, they’re forced to share the riches, which artificially stalls the great and props up the mediocre. It’s like business with a curve. As a student who relied upon the curve, I know how awesome it can be, but I should never be put in charge of anything. I can’t run a good franchise on Madden. It’s not for everybody.

We wouldn’t accept this in any other walk of life. We would never level the female playing field. Let’s ban physical fitness and make-up so Star Jones can compete. We can’t all look like Kerry Washington, so let’s all bring it down to Whoopi Goldberg. Don’t get me wrong, I would love if women’s expectations were lowered from Boris Kodjoe to Forest Whitaker, but I wouldn’t enjoy looking like that any more than he does.

Come Get Some

The league’s thirst for parity (and therefore profit) has thinned the talent pool to the point where a 9-7 team with no running game and a suspect defense, who got emasculated by 40 in December, sits on the threshold of a championship. I don’t hate the Arizona Cardinals, I just hate what they stand for. They stand for a level playing field that couldn’t be raised to accommodate the best, so it was lowered to accommodate the worst. They stand for a watered down league that forces teams to choose which side of the ball they don’t want to stink and hope the opposite side doesn’t kill them. They stand for the Snuggie. They stand for John McCain.

I understand why the NFL, sorry the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE, wants every team to be the same. More competition means more interest, which means more money. But, when you get rid of horrible teams, you also get rid of the truly great ones. Detroit went winless despite the NFL system, not because of it. They got a 50 meter head start in the 100 and managed to lose by 80.

Perhaps that’s why I was most devastated by the Giants victory in last year’s Super Bowl. Of course, we probably won’t see another 18-0 team but it’s just as questionable if we’ll see another truly great one. We’re definitely moving in the wrong direction.

Weekly Schadenfreude

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